My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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