the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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