We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
