it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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