Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
