there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
