there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
