Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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