So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It was confusing and full of hummus
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize