porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
