wat bout pragnant strippers??
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
