So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
