At least make sure they are 18
Why
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
