you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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