Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
