Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
