You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
