My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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