apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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