I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize