You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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