Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
