when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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