I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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