I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
