I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Your dad touched me again.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Randomize
