I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's never too late to be topless.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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