i just had sex bonerless
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
