uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
where are my eyebrows?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
