Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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