I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
