I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
