I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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