He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You know, be my cock's hype man.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
