i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
you had me at cake vodka
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
