there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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