The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
