The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize