My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
