Heybabeimwearingurpanties
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
