i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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