the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Alive.
So much puke
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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