I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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