Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
