you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
