Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
