Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize