Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
