I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
