She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Even my vagina gasped.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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