Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
