I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
