We're facebook friends in real life
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
