Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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