You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
