I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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