Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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