how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
