ugly people sure do ruin things
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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