Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Randomize