forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
