I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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