she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
